Last friday when we were on the way home, a couple of guys sat in the subway close to us, youngsters, barely in need of a shave, bragging and ranting, gearing up for a weekend full of testosterone. I don’t know wether it was me coming home after a long week at work, or their inability to form a sentence without any explecitives or the constant stream of insults they used to adressed each other, but their presence drenched me in adrenaline, and I silently begged them to say a wrong word, touch me, or utter an insult, so that I would have an excuse to ram my elbow into someones face. I found myself close to be jumping up and down in anticipation, half-jokingly, half serious. I was prepared.
Sunday, again on the way back home, some bum on Oranienplatz starts talking to my girlfriend in a completely disrespectful way. It had been a quiet afternoon with coffee and cake and friends, and I was totally unprepared to someone smiling at us and completely disregarding any rules of politeness at the same time. We gave a lame reply and walked away.
Afterwards, I found myself pondering, first why the kids from migrant culture in Germany have such a hard time paying respect to anything while claiming to defend it all the time, then, what would have been an appropriate response. If there was any.
I’ve never been in a fight in my life. I’ve been living in the inner city of Berlin for thirteen years now and I have never hit a person in anger. And I think I would like to things remain that way. I’d rather be a person that gets scared sometimes or insulted, or angry, than getting this kind of respect that comes with the need dress up in a military look and develop a bad-ass behaviour.
When I started writing about this weekend I was concerned it would develop into some sort of rant, and that is probably the biggest danger, cause its easy to spill out the anger caused by such brats online or to friends. And neither does it make the world a better place to patronize or analyze impolite people, nor does it make me a better person to explain in detail what they did wrong. I don’t know wether this is part of my german heritage, but I think the only way I can halfway remain a decent and nice person is to constantly be on the watch over my thoughts and words. Only if I screen my thoughts every now and then for sexism, racism or antisemitism can I make sure that I don’t drift to far from what I believe to be important and true.
I guess this might be a thought that feels very alien to other people. This may be either because they are part of the majority of society with its common layers of accepted racism (if you want to know what I’m talking about, visit a german “Ausländerbehörde” or go to a local beerfest of your choice, and make sure to take some girls or foreigners with you), or because they are not german.
But if you can name me one single smart german writer or philosopher of the past 150 years that hadn’t go into exile (if he or she made it that far) or didn’t end up being jailed or killed or simply went insane, tell me his name. If you are even trying to suggest Günther Grass, please stop reading this blog and return to wherever you came from. I said smart!